The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize