so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
