Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."