Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.