You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.