You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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