After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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