you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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