You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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