I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
4 words: hood of his car
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he fucked my hip out of place.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
