Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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