I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
