she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize