There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
