just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
