READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
