she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize