I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
