Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
