I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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