I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
