Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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