I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
