She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So vagazzling was a success
Dicks are not precious.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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