sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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