Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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