hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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