have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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