Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Come on in and take your pants off
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