When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
