He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
