He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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