Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
