i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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