my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
