arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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