This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
two words: eviction party
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
