make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
