how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
