good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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