I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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