he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
