oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?