I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming