ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life