Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.