I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
