so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's blow job season.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
