She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
