there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
