Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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