If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
