So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Randomize
