He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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