The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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