Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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