What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
