you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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