You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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