I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
