So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
