Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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