i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
