After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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