Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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