You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
