Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need water and some morals
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
